So I'm sound designer for New Stages, which basically means that I have to make a glorified mix tape by Monday. Which is cool, cause, I mean, I have pretty good taste in music. Except I just remembered that all my music is on my old computer, which is fried like ice cream. So that's kind of problematic. Also, since I just do sound for pre-show, intermission, and post-show, I'm told it should basically be elevator music: mostly instrumental and innocuous.

I don't do innocuous.

But whatever, at least it's a job. Still, I can't believe I'm involved with theatre again. That ain't a good place to be. I thought I'd escaped it by letting music take over my life, but apparently it really is like the mob.

So I don't really understand that "post concert high" everyone talks about. For me, it's more of a low. Very, very low. I never have any energy left when finished performing, and then I get terribly depressed. In a soul-crushing abyss of emo kind of way. And everyone around me is running around with their energy and their loud voices and their high-pitched instruments and it is frustrating.

I need to stay home tomorrow and brood like a broody person, but that's not going to happen.

I like bass, really I do. I'm thinking of going to school for it, actually, and I think I would be mostly happy with that, if a little achy with my back pain and shoulder pain and knee pain and hand cramps. But most of the time, these days, all I want to do is play bass, so there is no good reason for me to get like this. And yet I do. Every single time.

I have realized recently that my worldview/philosophy can be neatly summed up in these four simple rules.

( Cut for rambliness )



...


And those are my thoughts on yaoi rules for living!

1. Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
2. Turn to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post that sentence along with these instructions in your LiveJournal.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.

"'Not bad for thirty years old, I suppose."
--A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami

Well, that was entertaining.

I may post an excerpt from That Thing I'm Writing. If I do, it'll be flocked, because it's original fiction.

So, remember that thing I said I was writing 38 minutes ago? Here it is. And, no shit, it's one of the worst things I've ever written. Ever.

I was so close to using the following as an epigraph:

One fluid gesture, like stepping back in time.
Trapped in amber, petrified.
And still not satisfied.

Damn Placebo and their catchy melodies. At least they gave me a title, though. Also, I don't care what y'all think, Descartes invented the word molecule in the 17th century, and Dalton was doing his thing at the very beginning of the 19th, so she could very well know about molecules! No, really! Don't judge me!

Title: Airs and Social Graces
Fandom: Pride and Prejudice
Pairing: Elizabeth/Darcy
Rating: PG... I guess?
Wordcount: 463
Disclaimer: AHAHAHA PUBLIC DOMAIN. So there!
Summary: Darcy confesses his True Love (or, you know, desire for marriage) and Elizabeth forgets how to speak English.




( their feet scuff the well-kept grass half a beat out of unison )

I'm pretty sure it's terrible, but Springstubb doesn't know that. I can't believe I wrote fic for Pride and Prejudice. I also can't believe I wrote het. The last time I did that was... oh, right. Never.

Cross-posted to nowhere, because it's all for English class, guys. Also I still hate this book, which would be kind of Awkward in Austen fandom, I bet.

I feel like listening to Placebo while writing pseudo-fanfic for Pride and Prejudice is somehow egregiously inappropriate. Damn English class.

Have I mentioned I hate this book? BECAUSE I DO.

Then again, this song is oddly fitting. Aside from the references to modern technology, I mean. "You see through my disguise"? "Airs and social graces"? Yeah, pretty much.

Yes.

( Accomplishments )

For mission101_2009.

( 101 Things )

Okay, so I was bored.

( Literacy ftw! )

I also made a list. Of listy goodness. Like I said, so bored.

( The Next 10 Things I Want to Read, in No Particular Order )

In other news, I'm working on this project for the magazine where I recruit people who blog about early American life and crafts and reenactment and restoring houses and such. And do other things to fix the website, using my internet skills. I am the younger generation. Unfortunately, I don't know anyone who blogs about these things. Alas.

Also, I'm thinking of posting original fiction on LJ, but I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe I'll start writing fanfic again, because Supernatural gives me bunnies. Although that fandom kind of scares me.

And by kind of, I mean wow, a lot.

I had this moment today where I realized I was now more comfortable working on a Mac than a PC. Damn it, Digital Photo. See, this is what happens when your laptop dies and you can only use the school computers in your photo class. It's all very strange for me.

I've been feeling weirdly creative recently. Like, I just want to make stuff. All the time. Or play bass. Or both. This is NaNo speaking, I think, but it has also been very good for me in the photography context because I've been doing some crazy-ass shit with Photoshop filters this week and it's actually looking pretty good. This is a new thing for me, having confidence in my work. I think I kind of like it.

Someday soon I'm going to write down all my way too analytical, God-why-are-you-reading-into-it thoughts about TV. But not today.

I've been reading a lot of existentialism recently and I don't think it's good for my mental state. Everyone is so loud in high school. And there are all of these people with all of this drama, and I just can't understand it.

I've been meaning to post all week and now I can't remember what I was going to say. I guess I'll figure it out later.

I got my transcript back from COA, and I must say that I like that my college GPA is higher than my high school GPA even though I'm not actually in college. My evaluation says that I am "passionate and insightful" and that I demonstrate "candor and an aggresive approach to learning that were highly valuable." Apparently I'm talented in multiple areas, but particularly in music. However, I "could work a little harder" on harnessing my "critical attitudes." Overall I got an A- and one credit/three semester credit hours. Yay.

I miss COA a lot, especially considering how dumb my classes are this year. Digital photography makes me want to stab out my eyeballs with a flash drive, and Euro is the easiest course I've taken since Global Studies freshman year. Also, why do we talk about history in English and politics in History? I ask you.

In other news, I'm about to start NHD again. This year it's looking to be Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir. We were going to do Mai 1968, but Parker told us not to because no one in America knows who Daniel Cohn-Bendit is. Alas. We'll probably do performance again, too, just 'cause it's easy to win.

You know what amuses me? The phrase "the gay agenda." It always makes me think of someone's planner, with a list like:

7:00 am--Wake up
8:00 am--Eat breakfast
9:00am--Have gay sex...

Yet somehow I doubt that's what conservatives mean when they yell about stopping it.

Sloan were playing at the venue that's two blocks from my house on Sunday and I missed it. I didn't even know they were in town until I saw Jay Ferguson out of the corner of my eye when we drove past. And then I did this crazy double-take that almost made me fall out the window of the car, and there was Sloan standing around on the sidewalk in front of the Grog Shop. It made me sad, because I missed it and was only twenty feet away, and yet so happy, because hey. Sloan played my town. I didn't know bands I liked even came to Cleveland, let alone bands that are not of this country.

To be honest I'm surprised I even noticed it was them. I'm kind of oblivious.

On that note, I was planning on making this the summer of reading the collected works of the entire Beat Movement, only now I think it's going to be the summer of me writing like there's no tomorrow. I have a novel idea, and it's not even November. It has vampires. And theatre. And... politics. Speaking of politics, I am now a Useful and Productive Member of Society.

YES, THAT'S WRITE. Er, right. I have a job! A PAYING JOB! WHERE THEY PAY ME TO DO STUFF! In this case, filing. And editing, a bit. I don't care that I'm working for family members; they pay me minimum wage just like anyone else. Minimum wage, yeah!

Autosaved draft from three weeks ago:

Finals are now over, which means NO MORE OF THIS 10th GRADE SHIT FOR ME. On that note, I leave the year with this list.


10 Things I Learned

1) How to drive.
2) What pot smells like at 3 a.m. in France.
3) That my academic career is salvageable solely through AP courses.
4) That archivists are made of win.
5) How much a caffeine withdrawal headache hurts on 3 hours of sleep.
6) One and a half more ways relationships don't work.
7) That bullshit becomes more and more obvious as one's education continues.
8) What an asymptote is. ...Heh. Ass-symptote.
9) That I don't need The Theatre to tell me who to be.
0) Who matters.

This is why I don't get involved in those high school dramas, especially not during finals week.

I should know better. Blah.

"Thus saith the Lord God, Woe to the women that sew pillows.... Behold, I am against your pillows."

That's all I have to say.

Just like the angel that fell, banished forever to hell
Today have I been expelled from high school heaven

I wish.

I don't think I've ever before been angry enough that I played bass so hard it tore one of my callouses right off my finger. And I don't even have a good reason. It's just that I'm going to fail all my classes and go to community college and end up writing crappy haikus for a living and living in a box behind K-Mart.

My French teacher's SmartBoard layouts look like they were designed by a schizophrenic squirrel that collects LSD instead of acorns during a really bad trip. The pointless project she's making me do is virtually impossible, as I do not own a copy of PowerPoint. And now I feel like I'm going to vomit.

I'm thinking about trying to do the early graduation thing. Or at least French by PSEOP.

Because Teh Linzy has not called back, so I'm not going to Capoeira, so I'm very, very bored.

( Coming soon to a cinema near you... )

I need a hobby.

"Perception is very subjective."

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.